Public Service Announcement
I have to start by saying how sorry I am that I have been away for so long. I had left this blog in the lurch and people were still submitting these wonderful letters. I am so very sorry for that.
I have gone through and posted some of what I have received, and will post the rest. Then I will close the Ask Box for a little while until I decide what to do further. Despite the fact that some of the letters talk about events from before, I still wanted to post them. Because they are a record of someone’s feelings at a particular point in time, and that’s important.
Part of this whole exercise was a chance to show Misha Collins how people feel about Castiel, but I think from the very beginning it was more for people who love Cas.
Of course everyone who submits a letter knows he is a fictional character. As do people who draw fan art or write fan fiction. The character isn’t real, but the emotions invoked a very real. This outpouring of emotion is a way to channel our feelings. Castiel is a being born out of someone’s wonderful imagination and brought to life by a talented actor. The letters here are a testament to the success of that endeavor.
It used to get me down that people would scoff at the idea, and think it was trite. But now I just really don’t care. I have seen raw honesty flowing from these letters that is bigger than a television show, or bigger than any controversy or tension within a fandom. If I were Misha, or the writers, I would hold this in the highest regard, as the highest form of flattery. That my work could incite such passion? How incredible is that?
I have to thank everyone who participated in this. I did have an opportunity to speak to Misha Collins twice (at ChiCon last year, and JIBCon this year) about what he thought of the book and he said he “loved it”, and that it was “really sweet”.
But more importantly, I wonder how it made YOU feel? I hope it made you feel comforted.
[I’m not sure who made this gif, but it’s beautiful and I had to use it]
I still have your trench. It’s waiting for you whenever you come home. I’m waiting too.
Please. Just.. find me. I need you. Dean.
You made some terrible mistakes, but you sacrificed so much to try and prevent the Apocalypse from happening. We know that you are truly good, and that you can be forgiven for your actions and return. We have faith in you, Castiel, and we love you. (Misha, thank you for playing such a wonderful character. I hope the showrunners wisen up and bring you back on as a regular. Your presence made the show into something truly special, and it won’t be the same without you)..
They gave you back to us only to take you away shortly after again. For now you are lost for the SPN universe. Now you can really be the guarding angel we all need, now you are with us on a completely new level. You are no longer a fictional character because you don’t exist in this fictional world anymore. You are real, you are here and although we are sad, we feel you closer to us than ever before.
Thanks for being… you. I love you! (Marlene / Germany)
I know you’re just a fictional character of a awesome series (believe me I know that) but for me you’re much, much more. You gave me the strengh to believe in … something - my friends, who are family for me like Dean and Sam are for you and especially in angels. Angels like you who are loyal and trust unquestioning in a higher power. Possibly I could believe in a god if he could be like you. You can’t imagine what you mean to me. Thank you and Misha Collins! Larissa, from Austria
Words can’t even describe how much Castiel means to me. He made me love the show more, he’s made me laugh and cry. He’s made me believe in angels, if anything. And I look up to him all his devotion and trust he puts into the boys. All he’s given for them. He doesn’t deserve to be put down he means to much to us. Misha your one of the greatest Actors and the Kindest person out there, you are my roll model and I just want you to know how much you, and Cas mean to me.
I feel odd writing a letter to a fictional character, but here goes. When Supernatural first premiered I wasn’t very interested, considering it just another monster-of-the-week show. But then, fast-forward to February 2011, when I found myself watching episode 6.12 of Supernatural after tuning in to watch Smallville.
I instantly discovered there was much more to this show and immediately took a liking to you. At that point, I wanted to go back and start from the beginning to enjoy the experience fully. At first I was severely disappointed. The show just wasn’t the same without my favorite angel. I stuck with the show and grew to like Sam and Dean as well, although you still held a special place in my heart.
Then when I reached season four I was once again graced by your presence on the show and I felt oddly whole again. Several times I actually had to press pause and regain my composure because something you had done put me in a laughing fit.
Well, in conclusion, I look forward to seeing season seven, even though you’ve been demoted to a minor character. I’m eager to see where your journey will take you in the coming weeks.
I just wanted to thank you. For being there, for giving all of yourself, for loving those boys so much that you sacrificed everything. Thank you for believing in them. Thank you for not giving up.
I believe in you, Cas. And I won’t give up on you, either.
To the angel that changed my world irreversibly,
When I first heard of the show, Supernatural, I had little interest. Years later I saw a few scenes during the end of season 5 but the mention of angels turned me away entirely. It was only by chance that I bothered to watch the start of season 5 after we had the DVDs, and more chance that I stuck with it even though God was mentioned right in the second episode. Ironically, it was War -just the inclusion of the horsemen- that made me stick with the season.
But then I got to know you during your fall. The whole week it took me to watch the season.
You with your failure of a father. All alone in a world of people who could never understand you. Even your lack of cultural understanding, especially the casual references Dean loves to make. They all reminded me of myself and I quickly found myself attached to a being I’d once hated the thought of.
You turned my world completely upside down. Now angels are just as real for me as everything else (though the majority really are more trouble than they’re worth.) I’ve even found myself contemplating (possibly even communing with) a god I once rejected entirely. It’s alarming how easily I shifted my reality to find a place for you and the “family” you bring with you.
I’d have to be stupid not to realize it’s a total crush. (And a total idiot if I didn’t realize just how dumb that is.) But that’s the truth. I was crushing on an angel.
Was, because, as we’ve seen, you’ve now taken on the power of a god. At first I couldn’t accept it. The thought of accepting that any sort of God could actually exist was something I never planned nor wanted to deal with, so I didn’t.
And yet, in not dealing I found myself come to accept it. A half-hearted prayer here. A word of thanks for good fortune there.
Whatever road your future holds I wish you all the wisdom necessary to survive it and become better for the journey. Most of all I wish to see you back. Secretly I pray the return is to your old self, but I can be perfectly content with you as the new God. (Just so long as you lose the new attitude.)
a secret fan who hated angels one year ago.
Kyrie (Eleison, Christe Eleison)
You don’t know me. You don’t know any of us writing these letters to you, and you don’t have to really. All you should know is there are people who still believe in you and are rooting for you, day and night. There are people ready to cross the realm between reality to fantasy to help you and ready to fight every hell hound in hell and every archangel in heaven to save you.
For the most part, this letter is to help save you from a fate that we have yet to find out. But there are also some things I want you to know.
First and foremost, I want you to know that I’m so, so sorry.
I’m sorry you had to bear the weight of the world on your shoulders. I’m sorry you didn’t go to Dean, right before you made the biggest mistake of your life. I’m sorry you didn’t go after. I’m sorry you had to make every tough decision on your own. I’m sorry they turned out to be the wrong ones. I’m sorry when you finally realized that, you were in too deep to resurface. I’m sorry that you lost your friends’ trust, especially Dean’s. I’m sorry you hurt him more than you could even imagine. I’m sorry the part you could imagine hurt you. But mostly, I’m sorry that I can’t fix it all for you.